Attraction & Relationships

"Attraction and What It Means in Your Relationship"
by Susie and Otto Collins

There seems to be a lot of talk these days about "attraction" and "manifesting" and when it comes to love and relationships we're absolutely fascinated with these two ideas and how they relate to each other.

What we've discovered is that when it comes to attraction and our relationships (both current and future), attraction can come in all shapes and sizes. Most of us never stop to realize that we're ALL manifesting and attracting all the time. The funny thing is we just don't think of the results we're getting in our life and relationships as manifesting or attracting.

In most cases, we also don't take the time to consciously consider what attracting is and what it means in our relationships.

Recently, we received this question and it caused us to think aboutwhat attraction really means in relationships.

Here's the question...

"I have a friend who seems to be confused what a relationship is all about. He expects to find someone that he feels in his heart he's passionate about and then go into the relationship and eventually marry that person. Shouldn't a relationship start with a friendship, get to know that person and maybe feelings of passion come about? What he seems to be looking for is love at first sight - which is nice but nearly impossible."

It's obvious that this person has her idea of what attraction is all about and that relationships should begin with friendship--and her friend has a totally different idea.

In our opinion, neither idea is right for everyone and neither is wrong for everyone. They are just different ways of viewing love and attraction.

In this culture, attraction in an intimate relationship is usually defined as being a sexual attraction between two people. The belief that many people have is that it's normal for this attraction to die after years of being together.

While we absolutely know that this type of attraction can die after awhile if both people neglect their relationship, it doesn't have to.

For the purposes of this conversation, we think that this definition for attraction can and should be broadened. Like we said earlier--we are ALL attracting all the time. The question for most of us becomes "Is what we're manifesting what we want?"

The dictionary says that to attract is "to draw to or toward oneself"and we think there are many, many reasons why we draw people into our lives, especially into intimate relationships, and stay with those people for many years and we may not realize why.

Here are just a few of those reasons...

1. To be loved
2. For s-e-x
3. To be taken care of emotionally or physically
4. For financial reasons
5. For friendship
6. For passion
7. To take care of someone else
8. To feel safe and secure
9. For connection

So what does all of this have to do with you and your relationships?

We think plenty and here's why...

If you are wanting to attract a person into your life who you truly want to be with, be clear about what it is you want. Although we cannot control the chemistry we have going on with another person, we can become very clear about what we want in an intimaterelationship, how we want to be treated, and our definition of what it means to be in an intimate relationship.

If you are and have been in an intimate relationship where s-e-x-u-a-l attraction seems to have lessened or it might even be non-existent--you may want to take a few minutes to discover what the attraction currently is between the two of you. Your attraction may have nothing to do with passion, but have everything to do with friendship or feeling safe and secure.

You may be happy with what you find but if you find that you are wanting something different from your relationship, then it's time to see how your partner feels and reach for something new together or maybe something that was there before and has slipped away.

Understand that we have attracted everything we have in our lives, but that certainly doesn't mean that we place blame on ourselves or that we can't have what we want.

You can attract what you want into your life and knowing what you want is certainly a good place to begin.

After you know what you want then the next step is usually to remove the blocks to having what you want.

What we've discovered is that most of us don't think that we're the problem but more often than not-- it's our own ability to get out of our own way that is the problem.