Remembering My Father on Father's Day

Feelings I shared at my father's funeral at Gulph Christian Church on March 6, 1996:

During the time I spent with my father in the hospital, I wrote down some of my thoughts.

When my mother died, it hurt so much knowing Brooke Wade wouldn't have his grandmother's love.  But in the fourteen years since, my father has given both Brooke Wade and Brent more than I ever hoped for.

In his own special way, my father gave his love to Brooke Wade and Brent individually.  He loved their uniqueness and openly praised their accomplishments and talents giving each his unconditional grandfather's love.  They were both SO special in his eyes.

My father and Brooke Wade had a special relationship.  My father thought the world of him, telling others with unabashed pride about his mechanical ability and tractors. Pop Pop was an easy mark for Brooke Wade to take him to Green Dragon to shop in the junk store before he got his license.  After Brooke Wade got his license, my father enjoyed being chauffeured there. 

Pop Pop was always there for him, and Brooke Wade felt so comfortable calling Pop Pop to tell him of his latest venture.  In my father's eyes, Brooke Wade could do no wrong.  Within the last month, instead of calling me, my father would call Brooke Wade to come over to help him with house projects.  They had a VERY special relationship for which I am so grateful.

Brent was his grandfather's pride and joy; the athlete he could watch and brag about.  Pop Pop was Brent's most dedicated fan at all of Brent's athletic contests - from his school track meets, to his baseball games, to his basketball games.  They both flew by the seat of their pants!  Brent, as well as Brooke Wade and myself, could do no wrong in my father's eyes. 

It hurts to realize that we will never again hear my father's booming voice yell, "Way to go, Brentie!" at one of his games.

Joy ended up being the daughter my father never had.  He cherished her and she treated him as she would her own father.  She was much easier for him to talk to than me.  I'm so grateful for Joy's concern to always include my father in our family's activities. 

I think Joy has felt the loss of my father as deeply as me.  She has helped me through this very difficult time in the hospital and now.

My father has given me unconditional love and acceptance.  His supportive nature and unabashed boasting about me to anyone who would listen was something I have cherished all my life.

Growing up, he allowed me to do things around the house, even though at first they weren't up to the standards I'm sure he could have done himself.  That gave me the confidence to grow and develop in various areas.

In our later years I feel we were closest on the golf course playing together in the church league which we had done for over 20 years.  Competing side-by-side we shared a common bond - a golfer's bond - as well as a father-son relationship.  I was continually amazed at his athletic prowess even at his advancing age.  We would help each other analyze our games, always seemingly able to help each other figure out what was wrong.  We shared our feelings - both dislikes and fondness for the guys we played with and against.  Those memories, together with the memories of his times with the family, are the ones I will cherish the most.

Thursday night was "golf."  But it was much more than that.  It was a time my father and I would be together - playing.  And a time I had him all to myself.  A time I had to share him with no one.  It was very special.

I realize that our tears now are kind of selfish.  It hurts because WE will miss him.  But as I told George last night, the reunion when he joined his loved ones and his friends must have been something!  He loved get-togethers, and I'm sure that was his biggest!

I'm grateful that he was active and vibrant up till the time he died.  And as much as he loved life and lived life to the fullest, I'm sure he is happiest now.

And I know we will all soon be together.