Center Yourself by Being Less Self-Centered - Doug Worgul

Try paying more attention to others.

Nobuo Haneda, a Buddhist cleric and writer, says that self-centered people are unhappy, and unhappy people are self-centered.

“An unhappy person cannot forget himself, being always concerned with his individual happiness and welfare,” he says. “A happy person is the person who is so fascinated with something outside himself that he forgets himself. A lover is happy because he is thinking of his partner, forgetting himself. An artist is happy because she is absorbed in a creative activity, forgetting herself.”

The popular author and pastor Rick Warren says that the point is not to think less of yourself; rather, it’s to think of yourself less.

Author and radio host and financial adviser Dave Ramsey says that one of the most effective ways of moving beyond a self-centered existence is to give – give your money, time, knowledge and skills.

He advises parents to teach kids to do the same: “Giving makes children less self-centered. Giving brings your kids depth of character. Those who never give become shallow, self-centered and miserable adults. Givers are better spouses, better employees, better people.”

Richard and Linda Eyre identify these “sensitivity” skills:
Observing others
Feeling (or identifying with) others
Communicating
Giving

Some other practices that will help one become less selfish:

Accept that everyone is selfish and self-centered to a greater or lesser degree. We all could be more responsive to the needs of others. That means you. That means me.

Start by being kind. Show courtesy to people standing in line at the supermarket, motorists on your commute, to co-workers.

Care for a pet. It’s a good way to practice thinking about responding to needs other than your own.

Find a volunteer activity in sync with your interests and skills.

Don’t tell anybody about it. Let your service to others be your little secret. It does no good to boast about doing good. Just let it speak for itself.