Relationships

As we see it, one of the biggest myths about relationships that are happy, harmonious, growing and passionate is that most people think that there is only one person out there for them that they can ever be happy with and even if they do find that person, they only have one shot at this kind of happiness.

They may even believe that they can never find that person and usually end up settling for mediocre relationships because that's all they believe they can have.

The truth is that you have a chance at happiness in every moment, in every day. Even in long-term relationships, we go through many stages where we change, evolve and grow and there is always that chance that the relationship will grow into a deeper, more loving union.

The question then becomes how can your relationship grow in vital and alive ways instead of becoming stale and lifeless?

The truth is that we all change all of the time and it's what we do with those changes that dictate whether the relationship grows and is filled with happiness or becomes lifeless, with both people merely going through the motions.

In order to create an alive, growing relationship, you have to accept, embrace and appreciate that the two of you are changing constantly. Look with wonder at each other and don't assume that you always know everything about each other.

An exercise we recommend to some of our coaching clients who have communication challenges can help you to accept, embrace and appreciate changes as they come along in your life.

We recommend that you both agree to either call one another during the day or talk when you each get home from your work for 15 or 20 minutes each day. Take turns telling each other one positive thing that happened during the day and one thing that you would have liked to have gone differently while the other person just listens.

Listen with your complete attention, not trying to fix anything for the other person. Make sure you turn off the television and move away from the computer and other distractions when you have these discussions.

If you find that you are becoming judgmental and trying to fix each other during this exercise, bring your attention to your heart and open it as the other person is speaking.

Maybe you have fear about opening up to your partner. If you do, breathe and drop your attention into your heart and speak from that place, with the intention to connect with that other person.

It's a pretty simple exercise but if you allow 15 or 20 minutes each day to do this, you will find out some new things about each other and you will open to grow together.